friend·ship
I’m sure you’ve heard this many times before: humans are social creatures.
We interact with others on a daily basis. Even if we stay at home, we have a world of people literally at our fingertips. In a matter of minutes, we can call, text, iMessage, Skype, Facebook, or even Tweet to people across the globe. (Or maybe for some of you, it’s the person sitting in the next room.) And I won’t even begin to mention ‘meeting’ new people on Tinder, or any of those other dating applications.
But here’s the thing… Is all of this socializing the same as friendship? And when I say “friendship,” does it even mean the same thing to you as it does to me?
It’s clear to me that friendship changes as we age. Child psychology will tell you that there are many different stages of friendship and free play. First and foremost, young children observe. Next, they might play independently with no concern for others. Then, they might be an onlooker and play parallel to someone else. When they finally become interested in others, it still takes a while for them to organize their play and cooperate.
As a teacher, I have many opportunities to observe children in the classroom and on the playground. It sure takes a lot of direction and guidance to engage everyone in a cooperative game. Not to mention the problem solving strategies that need to be taught, and the constant encouragement that some children need.
We may be social creatures, but learning to get along does not come naturally.
For teenagers, peer relationships play a HUGE role in development. Evidence suggests that adolescents who do not develop positive peer relationships are at a greater risk for developing problems such as delinquency, substance abuse, and depression. On the flip side, teens that DO have friends also have increased self-esteem, emotional support and guidance. {For many of us, this is the stage in life when we think our friends know everything, and our parents know nothing.}
So, what does friendship mean to us as adults? If you think about past friendships or relationships that you have formed, does anyone stand out as an exceptional friend?
Because people are so unique, and our needs are vastly different, it is obvious to me that these exceptional friends will vary for each of us. However, I’m sure there has to be some small thread of similarity.
An exceptional friend probably makes us feel valued and important. S/he probably respects us and accepts us for who we are. Maybe s/he has similar interests and life goals. Maybe s/he has been around for as long as we can remember, and that makes us feel that we can be our true selves when s/he is around.
Either way, we all have a picture of friendship hidden somewhere in our mind. So, capture that image for a moment and consider this…
Would you consider God to be a friend?
For many of you this might sound strange, but the truth is, God created us to be His friends.
If you are like me, you’ve already heard this before. So, here is the real question…
How is that friendship going?
Recently, our pastor reminded us that true friendship involves relationship. It’s all well and good to have similar likes, dislikes, dreams and passions, but knowing a person is more than that. Friendship takes time: time to get to know each other, time to build shared memories, time to invest in each other’s growth.
Trust is an essential part of this relationship. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up spreading like wildfire through school, the office, or the Internet. Without faithfulness and loyalty, we often feel lonely, left out, and betrayed.
I have people who I can turn to at any moment for any reason. They are understanding, compassionate, and trustworthy. They allow me vent my frustrations and cry on their shoulder, even when they know I will see things differently a few hours later. These friendships make me feel free.
Previous to now, I had never fully understood that this is the same freedom God wants for me. He gave me my emotions. Heck, all of these emotions are a reflection of His character, if I believe I was formed in His image. He already knows my heart, which means there is no point in hiding.
When I’m sad, He can take it. When I’m angry, He can take it. When I feel like He has let me down, He can take it. I can respectfully cry out to Him and He will listen.
No more “I’m fine, thanks. Everything is wonderful.” when my internal dialogue screams otherwise. It’s time to just be real, flaws and all.
{If your friends on Earth accept you, encourage you, and support you, how much more will the God of all LOVE, MERCY and GRACE cherish you as a true friend?}