Destructive Comparisons

com·pare

kəmˈper/

verb

Comparative thinking is one of our first and most natural forms of thinking. Without the ability to make comparisons—to set one object or idea against another and take note of similarities and differences—much of what we call learning would quite literally be impossible.

Research suggests that although comparative thinking is a natural operation of our minds and is essential to learning, most students have a difficult time making use of comparisons in school.

Almost every day, I teach young kids to look for those similarities and differences, as if it is some sort of treasure hunt. As if comparison is the key to success.

As a teacher, I can see the benefits of this kind of thinking in the classroom. When we compare, we improve comprehension by highlighting important details, making abstract ideas more concrete, and reducing the confusion between related concepts.

Sounds good, right?

But what I’m wondering now is this… Have we gone too far? Do we compare too much?

In psychology, there’s this thing called social comparison theory. This theory states that we determine our own social and personal worth based on how we stack up against others. As a result, we are constantly making self and other evaluations across a variety of areas, such as attractiveness, intelligence, wealth, and success.

The key here is that most of us have the social skills and impulse control to keep our envy and social comparisons quiet. But our true feelings may come out in more subtle ways.

According to Theodore Roosevelt…

He argues that comparing your work, your life, or whatever else will only serve to make you unhappy. Why? Because when you compare yourself to others, you have inadequate information. You know all the dirty details of your situation, but only the seemingly positive surface information about the other person or their work.

Further, you end up feeling one of two ways: a) better than the person, leading to pride; or b) worse than the person, leading to low self-esteem.

Either way, there is too much focus on ME, MYSELF, and I. And truth be told, you cannot be happy and envious at the same time.

But how do we rid ourselves of envy? God says the way you change envy is by changing your perspective. While you may not be able to completely change the feelings that cause envy, you can change the way you look at things.

In Galatians 6:4, it says, “Let everyone be sure to do his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work done well and won’t need to compare himself with someone else.”

Basically, you can’t focus on your purpose while looking at other people.

So, I guess what I’m really saying here is that we need to find that line where comparative thinking rolls over into self-destruction. We need to learn to stop the gears from turning when the act of comparing is no longer fruitful to our well-being. We need to stop holding ourselves to some vague outside standard of greatness, and strive to be the person God made us to be. It is here that we will find real meaning, purpose, fulfillment, and satisfaction.